


Feeling

by Fgoing_Insane



Category: Fate/Zero, Fate/stay night & Related Fandoms, Fate/stay night: Unlimited Blade Works (Anime 2014)
Genre: Fate/Zero - Freeform, Fate/stay night & Related Fandoms References, Gilgamesh (Fate) - Freeform, Gilgamesh (Fate) Being Gilgamesh (Fate), Gilgamesh (Fate) Being an Asshole, Gilgamesh/Kirei, Kotomine Kirei - Freeform, M/M, Post-Fate/Zero, m/m - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-26
Updated: 2019-06-26
Packaged: 2020-05-19 22:36:27
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,888
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19365226
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fgoing_Insane/pseuds/Fgoing_Insane
Summary: Alright, so Kirei really didn't think about what Gilgamesh staying forever meant.





	Feeling

**Author's Note:**

> Hellooooo, so this is something that's been on my mind for a while. I'm not a greeaaaat writer so bear with me. This might be a little OOC, oh well. We shall see how this goes. I think this is mainly going to be a few short oneshots with a little plot line. I do a lot with unpopular ships so this seemed like a fun one to take on.

Kirei really hadn't thought what Gilgamesh staying after the war meant. However, in the months after the end of the Holy Grail War, he had gained a slight idea of what that entailed.

Gilgamesh staying forever meant him strutting around the church like he owned it. Gilgamesh staying forever meant him rejecting most food because it was "mongrel food" and him demanding Kirei to get more. Gilgamesh staying forever meant him laying around within a few feet of Kirei and talking nonstop. And Gilgamesh staying forever meant that Kirei's personal space was most likely MIA.

Yes, Kirei hadn't thought this out at all. If he had been the same man he was before the war, either he or Gilgamesh would have been dead by then. However Kirei knew that he wasn't the same man. Not at all. 

The second he met Gilgamesh something had changed, even if he didn't know what it was. For the first time in what felt like forever, Kirei felt something for someone. That something was normally irritation or anger, but it was something after all.

And on a few rare occasions, he could feel a positive emotion directed towards the archer. Gilgamesh's first encounter with a sprinkler system had made him laugh, not out of sadism, but really laugh for the first time in years. Gilgamesh would also engage him in deep philosophical conversations as well, ones that were interesting and engaging, and not idle chatter. The servant also had an endless stream of stories from his lifetime.

Kirei could be stuck with worse people. Sometimes however, he didn't mind being stuck with Gilgamesh. Sometimes he even appreciated his company, not that he would ever tell the blonde that. 

Gilgamesh seemed to have two sides however. He could be affectionate or possessive, (At one point he had decided that Kirei's bed was better than his, and would stop at nothing to claim it as his own. It didn't matter if Kirei was already in it.) or he could be moody and distant. He was like a cat, Kirei decided. If he wanted attention, he would be rubbing up against you showing his charming sides. If he didn't, he would be elusive, and if you got too close, you might get scratched. 

 

Today was one of the elusive days. Kirei had yet to see the blonde, as Gilgamesh had woken earlier than he had. Kirei wasn't against the silence, but Gilgamesh stubbornly occupied his thoughts. (Mainly thoughts of what he was doing. Usually when he was out of Kirei's sight for too long something chaotic was happening.) 

Sometimes though, he wondered if Gilgamesh would leave. Actually leave, never to return to the church. So far the longest Gilgamesh had left was when he'd gotten lost in a field. (He claimed he was looking for a place to build a proper sized home. Kirei thought he was just bad with directions.) 

If Gilgamesh actually left though, what would that be like? At this point it was almost impossible to think of life without the archer. Gilgamesh occupied so much space in Kirei's life, it was almost impossible to think about him not being there.

Kirei shook his head, breaking himself out of his thoughts. He was maybe getting a little too fond of Gilgamesh. He couldn't forget how to be on his own. 

 

Kirei banished the thoughts of Gilgamesh the best he could, and proceeded to do his normal chores around the church. Ever since the ending of the war, the church had fallen into his possession. He wasn't complaining, most days the church was quiet and empty. The most he had to do with people was give a sermon every Sunday. That wasn't too much work, unless Gilgamesh was there to criticize everything he did.

Dammit he hadn't even gone two minutes without thinking of Gilgamesh. 

It was as if the thoughts summoned him. When Kirei walked downstairs to the basement of the church, Gilgamesh was there, reclined on a couch in an incredibly graceful fashion. Red eyes followed Kirei as he crossed the room to pick up a few items he had left down there. 

Gilgamesh didn't break eye contact, he almost seemed to make his gaze more intense when Kirei started to feel uncomfortable. Gilgamesh was the only person in the world who could make him feel uncomfortable with a gaze. In a world of prey, Gilgamesh was a predator, and he knew it. 

"Do you need something?" Kirei finally said, sick of the staring. He purposely kept his back to Gilgamesh to see how the blonde would react. 

"Need something? I thought you knew by now, I want for nothing. Every treasure in the world is-"

"Yours to have. I know." Kirei said. He turned back to Gilgamesh and snapped his fingers in front of his face, causing the servant to blink.

"Oh, was I making you uncomfortable? I apologize." Gilgamesh said, voice dripping with honey. "However will I make it up to you?"

Kirei backed up. He knew the look on Gilgamesh's face. The only thing he wanted now was something of the more sexual nature, and Kirei had far too much to do. Keeping up the illusion of the church gave him something other to do than wallow in his general emotionless state. 

"Not right now." Kirei said, turning for the exit. He had taken two whole steps before Gilgamesh's fingers caught his sleeve. 

"Leaving so soon? I would think that a godly man such as yourself would want my apology."

Kirei snorted. "Calling me a godly man is like calling yourself an angel."

"That statement isn't far off. I've been told my body is heavenly." Gilgamesh said, with a slight grin. The statement was half pun, half truth, and Kirei found himself grinning as well. 

"Staying with you too long would be a sin."

"Oh? I allow you to use me religiously." 

"I pray that you're not serious."

"I'll have you on your knees one way or another."

Kirei shook his head, pulling his sleeve from Gilgamesh's grasp. "Later. I'm busy right now."

"Then let me help." Gilgamesh said, rising to his feet in one graceful, fluid motion.

"You want to do chores." Kirei deadpanned. 

"Maybe not do chores in your sense, but I will keep a watchful eye on you to make sure you are doing the job correctly."

Kirei rolled his eyes, earning him another smirk from the blonde. "If you insist." 

 

Gilgamesh followed behind him almost faithfully (with the exception of him demanding to go through doorways first.) Kirei soon found himself admitting that chores with Gilgamesh were far more interesting than chores without him. 

True, Gilgamesh almost made chores harder with his constant criticism, but at least the words allowed Kirei to feel something. As a man who had gone so long feeling nothing, the twinge of irritation was welcome. 

The chores were finished early, and soon Kirei was seated on a couch across from Gilgamesh.

"Shall I finish apologizing?" Gilgamesh said, eyes glittering. 

"No." Kirei said. "I'd rather just sit here."

Gilgamesh rolled his eyes, making a "tch" sound, a look of dissatisfaction crossing his face. Kirei felt a slight pang of triumph. He almost expected Gilgamesh to fire off a sharp retort but instead, he rose to leave. Kirei watched him go, almost in awe.

"Leaving?"

"Nothing to do around here, now is there." Gilgamesh said. "I'll be back when I feel like it. You'd better have a decent meal waiting and if it's any more of that spicy whatever it is, I will cut out your tongue so you can't enjoy that pain you call food for yourself."

Kirei just sat and stared, watching Gilgamesh leave. It almost...hurt, knowing Gilgamesh had grown bored of him so easily. 

Kirei forced the thoughts from his brain. He was growing soft. He wasn't going to bend to Gilgamesh's will like others before him. He wouldn't grovel like Tokiomi. He remembered the pride he had felt. Yes, that was a far better feeling.

 

Hours had passed and Gilgamesh still had yet to return. Kirei had been standing by the door for a while now, awaiting the blonde's return. "You're pathetic." he muttered to himself. "Waiting for him like a pet. Do you expect him to greet you as someone special?"

Even with his inner thoughts colliding, Kirei stayed, watching and waiting for almost two hours more. When he finally rose, Gilgamesh had broken his record for the amount of time that he had been gone. As Kirei went through a list of sudden mundane things to do, he couldn't stop his mind from scrolling through reasons for Gilgamesh's absence.

Had he gotten lost? Was he drunk somewhere? Perhaps he found the sex toy he so desired. Perhaps he had been so disheartened by Kirei that he was staying away just to spite him.

Or maybe he was just gone. Maybe he had left. Really left. Maybe he had left Fuyuki in search of grander things. 

The thought hurt. A sharp pang of a feeling that Kirei hadn't felt before. This was disgusting, the thought of being abandoned. 

Kirei slowly realized that he had been resting on the thought that Gilgamesh would be enthralled with him forever. Gilgamesh had sought him out after all, and was the one who suggested contracting. It had been...nice to be wanted. Nice to know that he was something fascinating to a king.

Kirei suddenly sat down, overwhelmed by the feelings, by the fact that he could feel feelings, the fact that he had them.

He could have sat there for hours trying to clear his head if Gilgamesh hadn't waltzed through the door that exact moment, acting if he had only been gone for a few seconds. 

"I demand food." Gilgamesh said, tossing his jacket at Kirei and slinging himself over a chair. 

Kirei moved too slowly, and the jacket hit him across the face, making Gilgamesh cackle. 

"...you're back."

"Not for long if you made spicy hell food."

"You came back."

Gilgamesh stared at him. "Did you not think I would?"

Kirei composed himself before responding. "I would think that a king would have better places to go than a church."

Gilgamesh grinned. "I like the idea of spiting a somewhat all knowing god. I, a being who should be dead am now dwelling in a house that should be his. What could be more satisfying."

Kirei should have expected the answer, but was he...expecting more?

Kirei was two seconds from kicking himself when Gilgamesh spoke again. 

"And you're here too. I suppose that's a bonus."

Kirei stared at him. Gilgamesh's grin widened. "Missed me did you? You should get out more. There's a whole world out there, my little hermit of the church. However I appreciate the sentiment."

Gilgamesh stood, strode in front of Kirei and stood over him for a moment, smirking. Then he swiftly bent down and kissed the priest on the cheek before walking out of the room.

Kirei sat still, watching him go. It wasn't the first time Gilgamesh had kissed him, not at all. But this one, this small, indirect kiss felt different. It felt fluttery and warm.

And there Kirei stayed, in the darkened hall of the church, pleased that Gilgamesh had returned, and hating himself for being pleased.

**Author's Note:**

> And there's the first chapter! I'll build up to some solid smut if anyone likes this. If you leave a kudos that would be totally appreciated but it is a free country. 
> 
> Anyways if you read this I love you and you're amazing. Have an awesome day!


End file.
